yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
Walk of Shame today included voting.
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
Look, I'm just saying, she looks like a troll and works indefinitely at a shitty Chinese restaurant, so me sleeping with her boyfriend is the least of her troubles...
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
I used an emoji to tell him I was pregnant. I should feel bad about that, right?
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
Randomize
