I'm not unpopping my collar. This shirt is too expensive to crease.
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
Randomize
