It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
I have demons in me.
woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
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