One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
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