I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
Randomize
