just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
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