so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
I just had the polyamorous Canadian hockey player do the splits while naked in a handstand at my apartment just now. And yes, I know it’s 1:30am on a Thursday.
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
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