Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
I rewired his car so that every time he hits the gas the horn and the OnStar turn on every time he hits the brake the panic alarm goes off.
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
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