One girl and one boy is just not enough.
Penelope Cruz needs to learn American words.
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
Also. After puking outside of the bar last night, some guy (who saw me puking) said I looked like Jennifer Lawrence, called me J Law, got my number and is now texting me. Who knew puking and rallying would do me any good
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
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