He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
is there a way to sugar-coat "shes in jail" when someone is texting me asking where their friend is?
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
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