Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
A homeless man walked up to me at the bar, pointed, and told me to get my shit together. Jesus?
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
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