It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
Best surprise in my car. A cookie, sliced kiwi and the rest of my margarita. Work is going to be awesome.
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
Randomize
