I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
lets start a swedish sibling band together
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
I will expect an hourly check text to confirm you are alive and that you aren't dead in a ditch somewhere with a hobo dry humping your corpse
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
He told me to leave him behind and bury him in his batman pajamas. So two lessons I guess, don't give Tom whiskey and don't touch his daddy issues with a twenty nine and a half foot pole.
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
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