TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
You know how my eyes change color? Well I noticed after I hook up with someone my eyes are greener.
Wow, so you're like the Edward Cullen of sluts.
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
Truelife: I made out with my ex-boyfriend's girlfriend this weekend. Thank you Captain Morgan...
Was she wearing cherry chapstick??
No. Life's not always a fairytale.....
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
"I never want to have to say, 'Please don't squirt me with your breast milk' again.
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
