why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
Are you drunk? You left me a voicemail at 5:59 AM of you making dolphin sounds.
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
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