he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe
Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
Couch. On fire.
Randomize
