Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
An there's a little girl across the bar eating Mac n cheese... #1 she won't stop looking at me. Boo bitch I'm drinking alone. #2 I'm about to tackle her ass for that Mac n cheese.
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
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