Omg. If Ina Garten Makes roast chicken one more time im going to strangle her with her white button down
also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
Sign #1 that I'm not ready to be a mother: I'm shopping for "maternity fishnets".
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
Randomize
