He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
are you just going to ignore any texts involving my penis from now on? because thats going to shut down a pretty sizeable portion of our conversations.
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
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