careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
Just set the kids up with doughnuts downstairs so I could go up and masturbate uninterrupted. I am such a good mom.
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
