just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
where am i from again
life lesson learned today: sleeping pills and laxatives don't mix.
We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
Randomize
