i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
Randomize