I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
It's not really the holidays until I raid the medicine cabinet. Happy hydrocodone to me
And a merry methadone to all
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
Randomize
