Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
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