I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
In other news, I’ve officially fucked a grandpa.
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
Randomize
