actually, I'm a sock model
his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
Just saw my bank statement. It literally goes liquor store pizza place liquor store pizza place bar bar bar liquor store pizza place 711 for snacks withdrawl for drugs rinse and repeat
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
Randomize
