these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
Randomize
