guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
Come back. Shots need mouths.
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
Let's get this straight. I am six fucking feet tall. Do you even understand how limited my options in guys to date are? No. Did you see my last three boyfriends? I looked like a fucking giant next to them. So I will fuck this six-foot-seven Italian model even if I am the ugliest girl at this party because, goddammit, I deserve to.
Randomize
