He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
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