This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
she went home with me because she said i reminded her of paul rudd. remind me to thank him for his awkwardness
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
Randomize
