Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
Hungover at Subway, watching a business guy try to squeeze his way past my car to get into his. Bitch shouldn'ta parked over the line.
You truly are a temple of morality.
I am the night, I am justice, I am currently watching the fat biz guy pay a frat boy to back his car up for him so he can get in.
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
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