Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
Are those your contacts stuck to the mirror?!
Yeah. Drunk me tried to put my contacts on the mirror where my eyes were.
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
Randomize
