I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
what the fuck. my fiance told me she called our wedding band last night and told them to perform "best i ever had" for our first dance
I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
Randomize
