3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
The drive thru lady at McDonald's asked how I was and I responded by opening the car door and throwing up all over the drive thru lane. Happy Sunday.
Randomize
