Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
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