she gave me a schnouzer then wanted to kiss while we were having sex...i had to puppy slap her nose. pick me up out front.
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
I woke up with a half eaten bag of lettuce in my hand, wearing my Halloween costume from last year. Damn you tequila.
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
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