you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
not allowed to tweet this cos she's following me but i definitely just got head in a stairwell of the university of chicago. wanted you all to know.
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
I'm way too drunk on a Sunday to handle this level of Jesus.
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
Randomize