I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
How is there no taco emoji?! That's some bullshit.
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
Randomize
