dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
Randomize
