Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
are you so shy because you have an std?
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
I just googled if crying burns calories
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
I am drunk. Riding an elevator. You can smell the beer. Doctor on with me just smiling at me... He agrees, fuck cancer.
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
WHO CARES HE GIVES YOU TOE CURLING ORGASMS AND SAYS YOU HAVE KISSABLE SKIN AND RUNWAY MODEL HAIR....WHILE INTOXICATED WITH HIS BEST FRIEND. AND THEN HE SENDS YOU CUTE SELFIES OF THEM!!!!!!! WTF MORE DO YOU WANT FROM LIFE!!! DIE HAPPY ALREADY LADY!!!
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
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