i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
She's like a pop up book from hell.
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
It was his birthday and he drunkenly offered me Portillo's and diamonds in exchange for a snap chat of my boobs. Even sober it seemed like a good idea at 3 in the morning.
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
Randomize
