Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
I'm sitting at the bar eating dinner next to a nerd, a guy in a 10 gallon hat, and a policeman. I feel like I joined The Village People
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
Randomize