why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
Themes for tonight: men who look like bill Gates but sing smash mouth songs. Women who's names are also food. Haircuts that DO NOT cover bald spots.
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
Randomize
