If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
Ever try to swallow something and have it go up into your nose instead? Yeah, I just sneezed bacon.
Randomize
