So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
im like that movie w. ryan reynolds, no ones ever going to date me unless they're forced to marry me.
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
you scattered cereal all over the floor so you could "re-trace your steps and figure out what happened." 20 min later you yelled about the mess and let the dog in to clean it up. 5 min after that you screamed since the cereal was gone. you suspected me and locked me in the bathroom so i could "think about what i'd done"
and you bit everyone who tried to let me out. no more tequila for you. EVER.
Where are you guys?
Drunk
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
