Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
Randomize
