I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
I woke up to a bunch of college seniors jacking off a horse in my face. Geuss who didnt move in time?
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
Randomize
