What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
I feel like this is the moment of high where you have to write these texts down to remember to text them and feel that somehow this is important to the continuity of the world.
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
Randomize
