Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
Upon further investigation it turns out it wasn't blood, but chocolate frosting from the cupcake I shoved in my pocket to "save for later"
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
I'm about 40% drunk. You know, not drunk enough to light the bar on fire, but drunk enough to let the cougar hit on me.
Randomize
