Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
Randomize
