Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
Too much gin, very little bucket
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
Randomize
