Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
Can someone please explain where the fish in the mason jar came from when we were at a bar all night?
You told the bartender if he gave you one of the fish you'd go away
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
Randomize
