Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
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