He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
How many fucks given?
0.12846
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
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