And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
i'm drinking out of my 'black like my president' mug
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
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