Will you blow on my dice?
dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
Randomize
