____ banged a stripper...well technically she's now a hooker...
Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.. I just figured you were drunk and needed somewhere to crash, but your no where to be found. I'll I have is this corn dog. call me when you get this. I'm worried! --mom
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
Randomize
