She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
The gate guard just said to me, "I almost didn't recognize you in uniform. Welcome back." I think I need to lay off the booze.
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
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