I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
lady crackhead wearing pjs and a santa hat brushed the snow off my car at 7am saying "free of charge" the whole time
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
