If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
I left a bag of circus animal cookies in my car all day. they melted together into on giant cookie. this could either be the best or worst thing ever
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
I just creeped on air mattress guy's facebook and discovered his ex is the trifecta of evil: tiny, cute, and blonde.
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
I gotta do like a month's worth of catch-up personal hygiene today in prep for Christmas so extended family doesn't ask if I'm depressed.
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
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