It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
A young (I'm going to guess late middle school age) kid shouted at me from the crosswalk GAS PUMP OF SHAME! I have peaked in life.
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