Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
Oh I forgot to tell you that while you were in the bathroom last night I made friends with a gay man named Rodger from Venezuela and he kissed me cheek and told me I "knew how to shake my thing". From now on we go to the bathroom as a team.
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
K. The dog and I are outside. The Uber driver said "I hope he fucks the shit out of you"
I wear drunk well.
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
Randomize
