it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg đđ
Liz Cheney wasnât exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying âYAS QUEENâ for in 2021 but here we are
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