i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
Slut skills are useful in every country.
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Randomize