you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
lets start a swedish sibling band together
I just saw an old lady yelling at a dead pigeon for leaving the oven on.
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
Randomize
