I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
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