that's an acceptable place to lick
How was dinner with ur grandparents?
I was really blazed and scared they'd catch me, so when they asked about my day I was concentrating really hard on not saying smoking that instead I honestly said "Well, I had sex on your pool table, Nana."
Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
I was sitting down, taking a piss with a boner, her cat walked into the bathroom and walked up to my legs, I sneezed and pissed all over her cat through between the toilet seat and bowl, it ran off screeching. She thought I peed on her cat on purpose. Kicked me out
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
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