I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
Oscar is the man. He keeps getting pictures of hot nude women with messages in spanish saying "i hope you like it" sent to his phone
whose oscar?
the baller who i guess decided to give out a fake number at the bar last weekend. luckily that fake number was mine. i have enough porn to last me until next month.
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
Don't get into any trouble on your trip
The only foreseeable trouble would be pregnancy, but I gotta be sterile otherwise I'm beating some pretty fucking incredible odds
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
Randomize
