What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
Just saw my bank statement. It literally goes liquor store pizza place liquor store pizza place bar bar bar liquor store pizza place 711 for snacks withdrawl for drugs rinse and repeat
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
why the fuck is there hamburger meat in the toaster. i repeat: WHY THE FUCK IS THERE HAMBURGER MEAT IN MY NEW TOASTER
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
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