i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
I'm pretty sure my liver died in Reno and my intestines are doing hula hoops around my asshole. The bachelor party was that good.
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
Just saw the cop you hooked up with over break. He’s def hotter in uniform.
Tell him to stop shaving his pubes. #Notmyjam
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
Randomize
