Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
but the lizard people decide everything anyway
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
he's single and there are thong briefs.
Randomize