I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
my mom found me this morning spread out like jesus sleeping on the living room floor. i had a piece of bread over my eyes to block the light out
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
She threw her burger out the car window last night. My vegan neighbors were not pleased but I’m pretty sure I saw a for sale sign go up on their lawn so I owe her one.
Randomize
