Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
Don't drink and shop. I went for happy hour and came home with a fog machine. I now have no other choice but to scare the shit out of my neighbors with it.
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
Randomize
